Saturday, 20 October 2012

Section 5 Listen up!

I am not sure about other countries, but this one, that I live in, must be one of the weirdest. Here we can really make much ado about nothing - or much ado about what should be nothing.  We can derail careers, destroy lives, snare royals,and generally look like blithering  idiots.  Insults are against the law. How can we know if something is an insult? Well - just by the way it makes us FEEL!

It's our human right not to feel insulted.... or "take" offense (note - we do that TO ourselves) so the law protects us.

Feel insulted? What to do? Make a fuss! Tell the media! SUE!

All you have to do is affirm you felt insulted, or that you "took" offense. You can even feel insulted if the insult wasn't actually yours - but you felt insulted or offended FOR someone else.  It's easy!

But here is a really IMPORTANT thing to know - YOU MAY ONLY FEEL INSULTED BY SOMETHING THAT IS LEGAL TO FEEL INSULTED ABOUT.  Read the small print, Be politically correct. In the UK you may not take offense about anything concerning Gay People, Black People, Religion and many other "human rights" issues otherwise it will be turned against you and you might be investigated for being INCORRECT!

The mind boggles.

Fortunately some people are doing something about it. Listen up!

Rowan Atkinson's Speech for Reform Section 5

Lord Dear's Speech








Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Live-in Carers - ambient abuse part 3

"Ambient abuse is the stealth, subtle,underground currents of maltreatment that sometimes go unnoticed even by the victims themselves, until it is too late. Ambient abuse penetrates and permeates everything – but is difficult to pinpoint and identify. It is ambiguous, atmospheric, diffuse. Hence its insidious and pernicious effects. It is by far the most dangerous kind of abuse there is."

Today, I am discussing the abuse of live-in carers. In the UK, "carer" is just a synonym for "servant" - so to me, the words can be used interchangeably. Carers/servants suffer terrible ambient abuse. These examples are from real life.

If you are a carer you will become aware of abuse when you are designated a  special cupboard in the kitchen in which have been placed chipped cups, mugs and plates and old cutlery for your use. 

You will find an old broken chair in your room. You will be handed old sheets and bedding which needs to be laundered before it is fit to use. The house dog is habitually used to sleeping on the mattress assigned to you. You might get a tiny old hand towel to use for bathing - or a kitchen towel. 

You will feel watched and monitored at every moment. Your room might be surreptitiously searched - or even blatantly so.

It will be resented if you take a phone call. You will be aware of  your employer eavesdropping. They will ask you what your phone call was about even if you received it on your own mobile phone.

Your employer will be rude, short and lack any manners with you. All conversation will stop as you enter the room with the tea tray. And a visitor, or family member, will close the door behind you as you leave the room, at which point, conversation will resume. No one will have thanked you.

You might be accused of stealing food or money, or using the "good" bathroom, or dirtying the carpet with your shoes. The change from your shopping task will be suspiciously checked in case you withheld a cent.

You will work long over the hours considered legal. Time off will be resented and always be inconvenient so you will feel guilty most of the time you are employed.

If you are female, caring for a male, you might have to endure attempts at your door at night and other harassment.

You will have been alienated from any support in any of these things by your agency telling you "you can always leave", "we have plenty more people on our books who are willing to do your job".  Your sense of self esteem will be eternally under attack. Zero status. you will be continuously and profoundly exhausted.

The fact is - that live-in carers are one of the most abused group of workers in the UK. They have virtually no legal support, emotional support, no respite and they are paid a pittance. Their abuse is not just put in place by their employers - but by the whole of our society.



 

Monday, 15 October 2012

Health - ambient abuse part 4

I am continuing my thoughts on ambient abuse as it applies to relationships of all kinds.

Here are some thoughts about the Government Health Care and Health Attitudes that we face in our modern world.

About ambient abuse again....

"Ambient abuse, therefore, is the fostering, propagation, and enhancement of an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and irritation. There are no acts of traceable explicit abuse, nor any manipulative settings of control. Yet, the irksome feeling remains, a disagreeable foreboding, a premonition, a bad omen."

In a way, in my mind, the condition of illness has been altered in the Health Care Systems of the world? (or maybe its just the UK?) to be all about counting costs. It's all about money.  It's about the how much the treatment you get costs and whose fault it is that you are ill. If it's YOUR fault, then we will be marinaded in an atmosphere of disapproval.

Obesity is wrong because obese people cost more to a Health Service than a normal sized person. Obese people generate illnesses that need to be dealt with - "obesity related" extra attention, treatments THAT COST. If you are obese, you will feel guilty, foreboding that someone is going to "pick on you" because you can't stop eating will cloak you. It will be this way, even though the obesity epidemic cannot be explained by "overeating".

There is carping, nagging, social engineering to see that we are "educated" into a "healthy life style" by the media serving the Health Lobbies of a country. Smoking, drinking and eating your way into bad health is not permissible and people who do this are a COST to society. Well, no actually. Smokers, drinkers and eaters have paid every penny of their treatment before they even need medical attention. They have paid all, and more through their taxes.

The constant promotion that you are an expense to to system (State Medical System) and to society is a load of boloney. It's abuse - an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and irritation towards those who misbehave. We are "costly" only because we have become a commodity in a commercial environment (Health)

In the UK, there is a little threat being wafted around like a nasty smell, that smokers, eaters and drinkers will be punished by not getting medical attention until they behave. This is the new Hippocratic oath?  No, it's abuse!


There is no convalescence time offered once you have had your operation or baby. Home is where you need to be - it's cheaper! Convalescence is an old fashioned word now. Its something we can't afford to do anymore - a waste of money, yes?  NOT allowing time for convalescence is foolish and short sighted. Having to re-admit people to hospital that you just discharged is REALLY expensive and has to be an example of the failure of cutting costs.

The strange thing is with ambient abuse is that you can't quite put your finger on the problem. It's just - well - ambient! But you can tell it's there by the way you FEEL. If you feel guilty about going down with flu, or getting sick because you couldn't control your stress, or getting lung cancer even though you never smoked in your life, or eating Camembert cheese at three months pregnant, or scoffing chocolate cake with your coffee, or eating three only of your "five a day" - something ain't right! And it's not you.
 







Relationships - ambient abuse part 2

The last point in my Ambient Abuse 1 blogg was that despite being conditioned by a partner to live in an anxious state almost permanently, you LUUUV your partner.

I use that word to differentiate from the word LOVE your partner, because many people in this kind of controlling environment have the symptom of LUUUV. That is, they cannot escape – and could not visualise life without their controller, so they justify accepting such abuse by the continual giving of their love and attention. Their LUUUV keeps them going. It's a sort of complex Stockholm Syndrome. The longing for a fulfilling relationship, the release from their feeling of unease is viewed as their problem, their weakness by themselves. With more love, with more attention, or better pleasing of their partner, things will get better again. Things will change back to what it was like when they first met and LOVE will return.

The controller in such a relationship probably has no idea how devastating their behaviour is. They would not see it, even if it was pointed out to them. They are unaware often of how they set in place the background for triggering a continuous anxious response in their partner. Often the controller in such relationships is arrogant and self righteous, but not purposefully 'evil'. The victim sees the situation as their fault – the perpetrator sees it as not their fault. In any argument the arrogant, all wise, and knowing partner, simply reduces their victim to affirming their LUUUV and promising not to be so silly in the future.

Controllers in a relationship are habitually like this. To my mind, there is no hope for the victim except complete removal of themselves from the relationship. Because of the LUUUV factor many people live in such a situation their whole lives, not realising how abnormal it is. The constant pumping of adrenalin and fear hormones into their bodies can cause very significant health problems. It is often only when the victim falls into severe depression, a sort of continuous traumatic shock syndrome, or is pushed into psychosis, that they find themselves HAVING to face the problem.

The controller then justifies his own strength and wisdom by his partner's lack of it and so, to me, any reconciliation is doomed from the start. The 'honeymoon' period gets shorter and shorter but there is no long lasting solution.

LUUUV means you are the one who is living to serve your partner at all costs, even your own sense of esteem, peace of mind and health. You are not sure quite what's wrong, but some thing's not right and you are trying to make it right.

LOVE means you are growing together in a mutually supportive, comfortable experience. Your partner does not make you feel anxious or jumpy. You feel confident to simply be yourself, and they do too. You feel good about yourself – most of the time.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Relationships - Ambient abuse part one

Ambient abuse is when you are put into a constant state of anxiety by the behaviour of someone else.

Here are some examples. They are of ambient abuse in a marraige/relationship.

Your partner promises to phone you at a certain time - hours later, they still haven't phoned and you are left feeling anxious.

You are kept waiting anxiously all day to hear the results from your partner's medical test you know has come through that day.

You suffer long silent, angry nights.

Your partner reminds you of his allergy every time you want to visit your parents/friend/family-member who has a dog.

On your girl's night out you are surprised and anxious to find your partner waving to you from the bar, but then he disappears - or reappears now and then.

When you are in a happy group, your partner sits outside of the group, making you wonder if you should sit with them, or stay with the group.

At parties and celebrations your partner develops a splitting headache or any other condition (dog allergy) which forces you to feel jumpy and anxious.

Your partner 'forbids' you to take medication for depression or post natal psychosis or slags off your desire for further education because of some reason/opinion of their own, making you anxious that they might know something you don't.

You partner leaves you on the street, or drives off in a huff leaving you in a situation that triggers fears for your safety - in your own town, or a foreign country.

Something unpleasant occurs like a car crash - but your partner 'forbids' you to phone any relative to let them know as it's 'none of their business' or 'it will make them worried'.

You find things moved around in your house, or your car keys/jewellery in illogical places making you anxious you might be losing your mind.

You become depressed (and anxious).

When you are together you are always checking to see whether THEY are alright and happy.

You dread them coming home in case they are angry, sulking, drunk, or in a bad mood.

You dread going home.

You dread showing them a purchase or discussions, because of the re-action.

You clean up after them, or keep an excessively clean, tidy home to please them.

You 'admire' their wisdom and question your own.

You feel like a little girl or little boy, having to ask permission to do anything.

You find yourself becoming alienated from your friends or family.

Your partner prefers not to live in the town you have ties with, or you move because you get a place in a university, but your husband/partner HATES living in that town.

Your partner goes to their own parents for Christmas and you go to yours with begrudging 'permission' to do so.

Your partner HATES your parents.

Your partner withholds their approval on your ideas or activities.

Any situation where you are left feeling anxious, but you can't exactly explain why.

You LUUUUUUV them despite all of the above and feel you couldn't live without them.

Ambient Abuse 2 to follow

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Silly science - silly people.

'My practice as a scientist is atheistic. That is to say, when I set up an experiment I assume that no god, angel or devil is going to interfere with its course; and this assumption has been justified by such success as I have achieved in my professional career. I should therefore be intellectually dishonest if I were not also atheistic in the affairs of the world.' -- J.B.S. Haldane

This is a famous quote justifying that scientists should be atheists. The problem for me is that although I admire the scientific method, I'd really like to see it used WHILST invoking god, or angels (you can leave out devils!) to assist with an experiment. The scientific method should study whether those who are truly tuned into I AM, The One, The Source (or whatever) are able to heal, find water, prophesy (whatever). In my studies, I see that the scientific testing of these things has holes in it – HUGE HOLES!

I once set out a good scientifically designed 'test' to see whether you could prove that auras are real. The trouble is that when I submitted it for scrutiny by a bunch of skeptics they simply fell over laughing! The problem with my 'test' was that it needed to be with people who ACTUALLY see auras. I think this is quite scientifically secure – what scientist would test frogs for something by using – say – cats instead!?

So to test whether Reiki works (which it has shown to do in a controlled double blinded trials with people after breast cancer surgery) you actually have to use GOOD Reiki practitioners! The hole in this test which was done in the UK here, is that they might have used 'pretend' Reiki Practitioners for the control – and all of US know that the minute you come near someone 'pretending' – its not pretending, it's doing it! So the control group in a double blinded trial of this sort is bunkum.

Take light. I have seen double blinded clinical trials testing different light frequencies. The control group has 'sham light' – now I ask you – have you EVER seen sham anycolour light? You cannot 'sham' light! Its either light – or its not light. If a control group is having blue light the results will be the same as the test group having blue light. There are some things that make the scientific method ridiculous!

Water divining or dowsing does not work – it's been scientifically PROVED! This is how you prove it. You get a bunch of students, bury some plastic bottles of water in plastic buckets, give the students some divining rods and count how many times they find the bucket with the water in it. Any idea that some people are more gifted in the art of dowsing than others, that 'tuning in' in natural places finding the secret ways of Gaia is a unique human property is simply not even considered by skeptics. If anyoldstudent can't find water in a bucket – it's proved not to work. Likewise, if anyoldstudent can't see auras – there are none. And, thus, having been scientifically PROVED, the results are repeated and repeated as FACT.

Thank goodness there are a whole bunch of what you would call 'frontier scientists' who know differently. They are designing really good proper scientifically secure experiments and lots of them are really tuned in. These scientists are very courageous. They put themselves up for derision and ostracism by mainstream scientists. Unfortunately Mainstream shouts the loudest, gets all the press, belittles those who do silly things like 'healing' as delusional because THEIR tests have shown it doesn't work. In the UK here, I find this attitude very pronounced. Our television would rather show Richard Dawkins telling us he has come to save us from the superstition of the dark ages than show us any sensible investigation into any kind of 'woo' stuff.

I am a sceptic – someone who questions – but I am not a skeptic which is an emerging modern religion with all its own dogma and language.

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Believe your own stuff

Fundamentalists in any form make me uneasy. Not only do I g et a feeling I'm dealing with someone who's a bit mentally unstable, but the ARROGANCE of being RIGHT is scary. I am using the term fundamentalist as a critical label.

Here's the Wikipedia definition "Fundamentalism is often used as a pejorative term, particularly when combined with other epithets (as in the phrase "Muslim fundamentalists" and "right-wing/left-wing fundamentalists"). Richard Dawkins has used the term to characterize religious advocates as clinging to a stubborn, entrenched position that defies reasoned argument or contradictory evidence.Others in turn, such as Christian theologian Alister McGrath, have used the term fundamentalism to characterize atheism as dogmatic."
Funny they mention Richard Dawkins. To me, Dawkins is just as 'fundamentalist' as those he criticises. You catch the glimpse of that same scary passion that makes you uneasy. Yet, when he keeps away from 'belief' meddling, he's just the most wonderful speaker!

The thing about 'belief' is that it's just 'belief'. Beliefs are patterns we weave about ourselves or about others because that's the way WE understand stuff. We can assume things will work out in our own personal understanding of our lives if we use the patterns we have woven. It is possible to know the difference between knowledge and belief and keep them separate, but use them together. Belief is a personal survival tool.

Fortunately, I have never got tangled up in any dogma, creed or religion - I have always seen the trap. Yet I believe a lot of things that haven't been 'proven' by science. I believe in the healing power of touch, of love. I believe I have the choice to think positively, or be a victim. I believe that the idea that science knows everything - or ever will - is not true.

I believe consciousness is vast and can be explored - and has been for thousands of years. I believe Homo Sapiens Sapiens is not simply an animal, but has 'added value'.

I believe the Universe is a living creature. I believe we have lost touch with it.

I believe that 'science' is becoming the new Religion. I believe the terrifying technological weapons created by science at work is doing as much harm to the world as any other religion ever did before it.

I believe the good will outweigh the evil in as much measure as any previous religion.

I think everyone should be allowed to believe what helps them survive sanely - and HAPPILY.

I think we should avoid fundamentalists, meddling, and confidently believe our own stuff.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The cancerous age

What is WRONG with this strange planet?

Our Goddesses are women? with strange men-boy-women bodies, or girl-women-men, making themselves look as grotesque as possible, walking skeletons, celebrities with wooden, distorted faces, all "fixed" to look young - ha - and movies that are violence-pornography, where women? are as muscular, strong and as vicious as men?, copulating, cursing and drinking.

Every second word on porno-violence movies is "fuck". Comediennes and comics cannot seem to find any other adjective in the English language either!

Sex is confused with copulation - and you are "liberated" to feel free to copulate with anyone, at any time.

Pop music, has reduced to two notes - three at most, accompanied by a cacophonous confusion., 

The media bangs on about everything depressing - war, murder, accidents, suffering, illness and death.

And governments speak with forked tongues, desperately trying to "control" through legislation.

Our Gods are scientists who pontificate from a point of "proof through science", unable to see there is a problem with science - especially medical science, and who would be surprised if some sensible group, charged those who invent destructive technology with crimes against humanity.

We are drones, clones and automated fear machines functioning in a cancerous, cacophonous, plastic world.

What planet keeps their citizens in such a state?

Well, I wish it wasn't mine!


Thursday, 4 October 2012

The Good Time is NOW!

I have been thinking about “the good times” that we have lived through since the fifties. Standards of living have risen – I have more now than my mother did. I live in comfort, my experiences have been softer than hers – no wars, no depressions. I did experience hardship. We were very poor when I was a kid. She was divorced which was most unusual in those days. All my friends had fathers - but not me.

We lived with my granny and grandpa on a tiny poultry farm in South Africa, They were poor too. We made things we needed. Our socks were darned, our shoes repaired (sometimes by grandpa) and our toys never came from a shop. The best doll I ever had was one my grandma made for me. It was a corn-cob doll with a mango pip for a head. The mango pip had been scrubbed clean and shaved on one side where Nanna drew a face, The clean white fibres were the doll's hair and were quite long enough to “style” with a brush. I spent hours doing her hair. She had a wardrobe of fine clothes stitched with love.

My friends were little African children - the children of the workers. They had wonderful toys that their Dads made – wire motorcars with wheels that really turned and you steered them with a steering wheel on the end of a long wire. The cars were copies of real cars you could see driving on the roads.

I went to a prefab school based next to hundreds of WW Two prefabricated huts that had been used by Italian prisoners of war. One of my friends lived in one. I often went to her house for lunch. Her mother used to hitch the bread loaf under her armpit and slice the bread that way. Big chunks of dark brown bread (flour was rationed) dipped in steaming soup tasted great – sweat or no sweat. We got bread and soup everyday at school too. And milk with cream on the top in a glass bottle with a cardboard top.

Later, we moved into our own house in the town – a tiny semi and you could hear the neighbours talking clearly through the fireplace in the lounge. It had an outside loo and bathroom with a wood-chip boiler in it. The boiler either showered you with spouts of boiling water that bubbled over if it heated too much, or was luke warm if the fire went out. And I was frightened there were snakes under the bath.

In the town we walked, rode bicycles, went on a bus if we had the fare. I remember our first car. It was a black (what other colour was there?) second hand VW Beetle with the small round window at the back and little semaphore “wings” that shot out if turning left or right. It was my mother's delight.

But enough!

My grandchildren have had everything they ever wanted – and upgrades to things that have newer vesions. Everybody's kids seem to have that. They go to schools purposely built, with school meals where nothing is rationed except fat. The poorest people in the UK seem to have more than I ever had. Everyone seems to have SO much we can chuck it away if it breaks or we fancy a different one. Its quite extraordinary how we “expect” a good standard of living nowadays.

Most days, I wake up thinking how lucky I am and how good life has become.

Isn't it sad that most people younger than my generation, live in a state of dissatisfaction, planning, longing, hoping for something better than they already have, not knowing how lucky they are?

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Scientised minds - shame on doctors!

This is a repeat post from a year ago...but it's WORTH repeating!

Doctors should wake up! My sister did the most amazing thing and her doctor simply shrugged it off as if it was not important. A year and a month ago, my sister was in excruciating pain from arthritus. The doctor's drugs were completely useless and life was utterly miserable.By happy accident - literally knocking a book off a shelf in Waterstones, a book that fell on her feet, her transformation began. On bending down, not easy when in pain, she picked up the book which was "Treating Arthritus the Drug free way" by Margaret Hills. She bought it.  It took the weekend to read and on the 1st September my sister started the diet.

Well - a year and one month later, the transformation is remarkable! Everyone notices her upbeat attitude, enthusiasm, vitality and new youthfulness. My sister is in her seventies. She turned her life around thanks to Margaret Hills. Other people have done so too - surely doctors should know about this?

But guess what? Yes - you can guess! Last week my sister arrives at the doctor's FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR (and a month) and the doctor is totally praising of how wonderful she looks and her physical health. So, emboldened by this, my sister tells her the story of Margaret Hills amazing diet. At this point, the doctor's eyes glaze over in complete disinterest  and she mutters "Oh, you probably feel better because you've lost some weight." Can you believe that?

Please do believe it - it's just another example of how our doctors have been brainwashed to believing in useless drugs, and a shocking indictment that they are not ALLOWED to be curious about real cures when they see one sitting opposite them in the surgery! After all the evidence is only anecdotal. But there are HUNDREDS of "anecdotes"! I find this very scary - the fact that doctors are dealing with us from a place of ignorance and closed scientised minds.  Shame on you all.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Being Naked

On the state of being naked

I saw a few seconds of How to Look Good Naked. I have never watched any episodes of this but my mind wandered as I watched a woman looking at her own images of back and front worn sandwich-board style on other people in the middle of a public place. She was simply someone who would classify as obese on the BMI, an older woman in very ordinary underwear.

Gok Wan is the guy who dreamed up this “entertainment”. It's to encourage confidence in the women who are co-opted to take part. Gok Wan had his own self image problems when he was young. Wan stood out from his peers from a young age and the fact that he was mixed race, tall, overweight and gay led to bullying from other children.

I have enjoyed watching his other TV series. I like his openness and spontaneity and his flair with clothes. And his ability to make the clothes fit the person's shape and pocket so that anyone can have “style”.

When my mind wandered to “nakedness”, it was surprised that we should want to look good naked. And I suppose we do – even if our bodies are not “beautiful” in any modern sense. Few ordinary women are wafer thin, with honed, toned muscles like the boy-look heroines of modern movies. Most women, especially older women, have a more classic “Rubins” look, obese on the BMI scale.

Unless we have exhibitionist tendencies, we are at our most frail and vulnerable when we are naked. Our vulnerable nakedness is the gift we offer to a lover, an act of commitment and trust. Our imperfection can make the bond even more profound.

Of course Gok Wan's assistive underwear suggestions hardly help us much then!

Beautiful bodies are the subject of art devising perfection that moves us, intimate and personal.

But, on the whole, being naked in circumstances beyond our control, is not a happy experience, underwear or no underwear. It is uncomfortable, humiliating, unpleasant.

Being naked has always been used in torture to subdue us. It has been used throughout History– and still is being used by the Military and Governments. Being naked is when we feel at our worst, we can easily be plundered mentally, emotionally and physically in this condition. It is not a nice thing.

Why do we watch shows like How to Look Good Naked? Does it do something to US? Does it appeal to some horrid unconscious instinct to watch the humiliation of others? I don't know.

But I'm going to watch an episode on catch-up TV to see what it REALLY is about!

Monday, 1 October 2012

My pleasure

I haven't blogged about smoking, but today I'm recording a few thoughts and memories here.

I have always smoked. It has been one of the great pleasures of my life. I felt more and more threatened by how society was spoiling my pleasure. It's really all the fear-hype about passive smoking that's doing it. The thought that the simple act of smoking a cigarette ALONE in my own car might soon become illegal filled me with an almost unbelievable rage!

I feel threatened anyway by how changes in thought-fashion have spoiled many areas of my life, so much so, that, I sometimes feel I'm living in a strange and foreign place!

But back to smoking. As a young mother, with friends, I can say we all smoked. We smoked AND drank during our pregnancies. I can't remember any child being born that wasn't simply a 'normal' child. At feeding time, I lit up so I would stay awake and maybe my friends did too. I smoked throughout my children's childhood. None of my five children had/have asthma, allergies and such stuff and I don't think my friend's children had either.All the children in my world seemed to do OK in school and university too. I never knew anyone who had a 'cot death'. I can't say I know of any of those friends who have died - of anything - not even of anything 'fashionable' - we are all in our mid-sixties now. I smoked till a year ago - maybe they gave up, I'm not sure.

I refused to feel guilty about doing something that was once considered pretty normal because a bunch of other people have epidemiological studies that 'prove' passive smoking causes cot deaths, asthma and god know what else - every illness known to man it seems! My scientific mind knows that epidemiological studies are easy to bias - and that Big Pharma must be making a fortune.

My own experience of smoking does not feel as if we are actually living on the same planet - I have not met these victims of passive smoking!

But of course, that's just MY experience.

Now I vape. I love it. It is my great pleasure!